Broken Bonds
by queenpearl
Summary: I need tissues myself now! I haven't watched any of those episodes (Empty Throne through Redemption Day) since they first aired back in 2010. That's how powerful they were for me! Having just re-watched them for the first time tonight, I am reminded of those feelings that hit me when I first watched them. And it still hurts. Rest in Peace, Captain Phil Harris


_February 9, 2010_

Pulling into St. Paul Northwestern spotted the distinctive blue hull of her best friend, Cornelia. She was looking a little worse for wear, ice covered part of her decks and collected on her bow. Her paint was chipped along several spots on her starboard side from where she had fought hard against her lines in a desperate attempt to stay with her captain as he was medavacked out. She was sedated before she could cause any serious damage to either herself or the dock and Northwestern could see she was still mostly out of it, leaning against the pier. She could relate in some ways. She still recalled the loss of Sverre 9 years earlier. She looked up to him like a father and Sig was a brother to her. But for Cornelia, she wasn't just linked to Phil, she was _bonded._ It was basically like saying they were soulmates and one was not whole without the other. It wasn't quite on the same level as a soul sister bond between ships but it was close to it. Northwestern decided that once she had finished offloading, she'd take a peek over there and see how Cornelia was holding up. It was the least she could do.

Northwestern's dock offered her the perfect view of her friend. She wasn't sure why but ever since the massive hurricane ended so suddenly into a flat calm she'd been on edge. There was something eerie about that weather. It was as though the Bering Sea had been screaming about something and had suddenly lost the energy to fight. Wizard had said the sea itself was grieving. Northwestern had passed the old boat on her way into town. She'd said _"The Bering Sea has children, just like all of us. And one of those children has passed over the sea's protests. Just let her be Northwestern. Let her grieve in silence."_ Most boats dissed much of Wizard's advice, thinking her a superstitious old fool. Northwestern knew better. For one thing Wizard was not a fool. There was nobody else out here that had as much experience and knowledge as her. She was the elder of the fleet and she deserved respect. Secondly, as weird as she might sound sometimes, Wizard's superstitions were usually spot on. She had a sixth sense it seemed for reading the words of the Ancients and Northwestern had learned long ago to listen to it. Usually she watched the brailers as they were offloaded to make sure the processor didn't try and cheat her out but her own instincts were telling her to keep a sharp eye on Cornelia so she did.

Around the 5th brailer, with crab still in her back tank, it happened. Cornelia, the sedatives now finally wearing off, began to come around with earnest. She started straining at her lines, splashing about like a fish out of water. Something wasn't right. Forgetting all about her offload, Northwestern rushed over just as the processor began unloading the aft tank. "Northwestern!" She called. "I'll be right back!" Northwestern sped into Cornelia's dock, pressing up against the blue ship to steady her. Cornelia wasn't all there. Her silver eyes were glassy and they carried a far away look. As Northwestern pinned her against the dock to ease her thrashing she began to cough uncontrollably. She would've rolled if she wasn't pinned in. "Cornelia snap out of it! Snap out of it, CORNELIA!" Northwestern screamed, desperate to get her friend's attention. Whatever it was that Cornelia was doing, it was killing her. "No, no, no. You can't, no! NO!" Northwestern jumped a bit as Cornelia started screaming. "NO PLEASE NO! OH NO!" The glassiness in her eyes began to fade but as they did a new look appeared. A darker look. A haunted look. There was a sparkle in her eyes that wasn't present anymore. Something had been taken from her. Something important. Cornelia blinked, looking over at the white ship beside her. "Cornelia?" Northwestern leaned in closer, trying to get a better look into Cornelia's eyes. But Cornelia simply stared at her as though she didn't know who she was. Then she buried her bow into Northwestern's shoulder and started bawling. Northwestern held her, not saying anything. How could she? When she knew, just looking into Cornelia's eyes and she knew just what her best friend had lost. A piece of her soul.

Northwestern wasn't sure for how long she stayed there. It could've been hours. It could've been days, she didn't even care to check. The only thing that mattered was Cornelia. The blue ship had fallen silent after a good long while of crying. She'd cried so hard she made herself sick and a half filled bucket of vomit now sat on the dock as testament to that. She finally dropped off not long afterwards and Northwestern made a note to call Sherman and ask the cutter for some rounds of serotonin. The drug would help bring Cornelia's mood up and ease the symptoms of a broken bond. The processor waited patiently a few docks over and Northwestern became aware for the first time of her still open aft tank. _"Damn the crab!"_ She thought. _"Cornelia needs me more!"_ She continued her vigil until she felt a semi cold nose press her flank. She turned without disturbing the still sleeping Cornelia to see Wizard. "I can watch her." She said. "You knew!" Northwestern hissed, her own grief being expressed as anger. "You knew he had died!" "I sensed a loss. I just didn't know who." Wizard's ice blue gaze showed only sympathy and understanding as she looked at Cornelia. "But I had my suspicions." Northwestern nodded, her anger fading away to be replaced only by exhaustion. "I know. I'm sorry." She sighed. "Go and finish your offload. I'll stay here. We'll all need to take turns watching her for the next few weeks. First stages are always the hardest." Wizard said. Those eyes held depths of wisdom, wisdom that had been borne of pain. Northwestern didn't know if the older ship had been through a broken bond herself or had seen the results. It didn't matter. She knew what Cornelia was going through and the best ways to help the blue ship cope with her loss. "Thank you." Wizard pressed her muzzle gently to Northwestern's flank once more as the white ship backed out. Wizard took her place and being much bigger meant she could more easily block the wind. Cornelia found Wizard too cold at first but the warmth spread and she was soon snuggled up nicely to the larger ship's side. Wizard looked down at her sleeping companion, her ice blue eyes narrowed and darkened in deep thought. She'd seen a broken bond before. Not a captain's bond but a bond she herself had borne for decades.

Foremost, Wizard always felt a twinge in her heart whenever she thought of the gray crabber. She was her daughter. But she'd lost her long before the seas made their claim. The breaking of that bond tore a hole in a heart already shattered by a lifetime of battle. She had just enough strength left in her to survive the loss. Her gaze traveled away from Cornelia and over to the white ship now sitting impatiently at the processor. A few harsh words were exchanged which drew a smile and a soft chuckle out of the old warship. Northwestern was her mother's child, every bit as stubborn, hard headed. She was always trying to push the limits of what she could do. It was an attitude that would someday get her killed like Foremost before her. Wizard let out a sigh that spoke of decades of grief, anger, and pain. She hadn't been there for Foremost and she'd paid for that dearly. Northwestern didn't even know her heritage but Wizard loved her anyways. Northwestern looked in her direction and Wizard returned her gaze with a small nod. She relaxed, focusing a bit more on the processor. Wizard sighed again, looking down at Cornelia once more. "You are lucky." She whispered. "You won't have to face your mistakes. They died with him." She brushed her bow against Cornelia's. She closed her eyes but that didn't stop the tears from falling, the tiny droplets instantly freezing on her face. "But I see mine every day and I have to live with that. It's a never ending struggle, a never ending war..." Wizard raised her bow skywards, nose into the wind. She could feel the grief in the air as the Ancients shared in the Bering Sea's sorrow. Wizard barred her own grief into that mix, releasing it into the storm. With tears flowing steady down both cheeks, the battle scarred veteran began to pray. She prayed for Cornelia. For what remained of her friend's soul. She prayed for Phil, may he find his way to the stars above and keep the part of Cornelia he took with him safe for when they one day reunited. But most of all she prayed for her granddaughter, who was just down the docks but a world away, and for a family that never was.


End file.
